What I’m Wearing…
* Fine knit sweater dress from Laundry by Shelli Segal… runs a tiny bit big, I could’ve sized down for a more fitted look.
* Camel coat by SMYTHE
* Stockings by Wolford
* Sunglasses by Ferragamo
* Red ‘Miss Vara’ bag by Salvatore Ferragamo
* Ankle boots by Rag & Bone
* Title: Adele ‘Water Under the Bridge’ If you’re gonna let me down, let me down gently, don’t pretend that you don’t want me…
It’s entirely possible that I’ll get snowed in for Christmas this weekend and be utterly alone for the holiday, just like every other damn day since April this year… and that’s a dreadful feeling simply because it will lead to more dreadful thoughts about where I’m at in my life and what I don’t have instead of what I do have… which will inevitably remind me that I don’t have children and that I’m 40 and the possibility of actually having children at this point, is very very low – in fact, it would be a miracle. But holidays tend to remind me that there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of point to them unless kids are there to share them with. Or maybe it’s just me in my cynical old childless age.
I’m in the middle of a divorce and sometimes the idea of that makes me smile bigger than I’ve ever smiled before knowing that I’m free and had the courage to choose the road less traveled because I was unhappy… and other times it makes me cry and literally hate my ex for the situation I now find myself in – because it wasn’t “supposed” to be this way. It’s a strange emotional head trip I find myself in; happy and sad at the same time… but it’s been just over eight months now and overall, life is good. It’s just that the holidays and the end of the year tend to shine light brightly on the past and make me wonder if I’ll ever find the present I so dream of. The only saving grace really, is the new year… knowing that you get to make a fresh start and literally choose a new path, a new way of being, and with hope, find yourself exactly where you want to be in this life. I don’t like resolutions, but I do like setting goals for a new future, a new life, new adventures, and new love… and so my focus will remain positive, looking forward to fulfilling my dreams in 2017 in an entirely new way.
Happy Happy Holidays Lovecats!
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